I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
