There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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