Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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