We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
