you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
