I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
