you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
