Christians are straight up FREAKS
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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