Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
