i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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