Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it glows. i had to have it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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