I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
