My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
