just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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