Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
