Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

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(710): View more from

So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary

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(972): View more from Texas

By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved

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