That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
