dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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