My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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