That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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