My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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