If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
