Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
