your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You're so nebulous sometimes
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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