haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
