He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
