He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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