i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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