I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
