who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
