Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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