whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
