I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I party with great urgency now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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