it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
