his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
