return my video game
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
