I'm eating all of the evidence.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
