We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
