so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this boner is exhausting
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
