She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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