Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish i was in the wii world.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
