four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I understand Curling. That high.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
