She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
