forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize