so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
