I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
then he tried to convert me to islam
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
