he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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