Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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