she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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