oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish you could order shots online.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
